The Androgynous vault is a blog (and sometimes vlog) about the lives of two androgynous girls in Brisbane. This blog offers a perspective of life through androgynous eyes.
Volume 5 : Undergarments and Academic Tanned Skin
This week on the androgynous vault - underwear!
I write to you faithful readers today after spending the day in the confines of a library. My favourite library actually, where I have spent the past five hours of this day (and 8 weeks of this semester) diligenty working on my academic tan. Ahhh the academic tan, so white and accented with wonderful dark bags under the eye for effect. The kind of tan that can only be transmitted to skin from the shine of too many flurescent lights reflecting off white paper and computer screens infusing your once lovely brown skin with a new shade of white. Bliss.
Before I get too carried away, back to the topic at hand - underwear. Most times when I am underwear shopping the first section I go to is the little boys section. Now before you get all creeped out and weird and stop reading just let me explain myself so I don’t feel so awkward.
Basically, I gave up on the womens underwear section many years ago. The reason I buy little boys underwear is because I prefer the trunk/boxer brief/shorts style. Yes I know there are alternatives. BUT if, like I’m sure all of you are suggesting right now, I was to purchase a pair of ladies underwear in this similar trunk/shorts style, I can assure you they would cost me double the price and probably somehow still give me a wedgie. Why bother fighting the battle of overpriced women's underwear when I can go straight to the boys section and buy a comfortable pair for only 6 bucks.
….and store my car keys in the bulgy bit….Ok I was just joking about that last bit.
So, you can probably imagine when I arrive at the cashier to pay for my extremely awesome underwear the check out chick (or guy, I don't discriminate) is generally pretty confused. In my experience, the check out persons take as many opportunities to glance awkwardly in my direction to figure out if I am a guy buying boys underwear or in fact an IMPOSTER GIRL BUYING BOYS UNDERWEAR!
One memorable time, I remember I was getting the familiar glances from one particular check out chick. She made it through the sale okay but after the sale she had to check my bag, like all good check out chicks should. I could tell this was painful for her. She hesitated as I was about to walk away and quickly asked me “Can I please check your bag, sir?” I looked at her and said in my most girly voice “You sure can check my bag ma’am”. The poor lady was so confused but my gaawwd it was funny.
That's all from this Ninja this week, stay tuned for more androgynous fun next week and remember don't forget to be awesome! (I know I don't)
Volume One - The Introduction
Volume Two - Gender Confusion
Volume Three - Categories and Neatly Defined Boxes
Volume Four - Tomato sauce, Assassinations and a woman Prime Minister
Volume Five - Undergarments and Academic Tanned Skin
Volume Six - Naked and Nakedness?
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