The Androgynous Vault
(On the left) Ninja and (On the right) MoneT
The Androgynous vault is a blog (and sometimes vlog) about the lives of two androgynous girls in Brisbane. This blog offers a perspective of life through androgynous eyes.
Volume Two - Gender Confusion
MoneT and Ninja
Hello friends, this is the Ninja reporting with your next edition of The Adrogynous Vault, starring...me...I guess........
Let me start by telling you a story about something that happened to me today. I was at a shop, a big name department store (Ok, I'll just say it...it was k-mart, they have good clothes sometimes!). Anyway, I had a few things I wanted to try on, some ladies black pants, a ladies top, some mens shorts and a t-shirt from the boys section. That is a very electic selection of clothes I must admit. When I went to the change rooms I could tell the staff member was having a very hard time deciding if she should direct me to the mens or ladies fitting rooms. I didn't want her to feel awkward so I just walked towards the ladies fitting rooms. She didn't protest, so I guess she came to the conclusion that I was infact a girl.
The issue I want to discuss today is how androgynous girls feel when people confuse their gender. What do you in situations where someone else uses the wrong pronoun (he/she, him/her). How do you feel when those awkward situations happen when someone has realised they've mistaken your gender and get embarrassed.
Personally, it really doesn't bother me at all if another person mistakes my gender and calls me sir or bro or son or lad (fag, in one case) or anything like that. In fact, in some ways (which I will not elaborate here) I kind of like it. In some of my experiences I've been mistaken for a boy and my friends with me were horrified and so embarrassed for me. Let's get one thing in order, I'm not embarrassed that I look like a boy. It's the way I am, it's how I dress and it's how I'm comfortable.
Generally, I am pretty confident with myself and how I look and who I am and don't worry about how other people judge me. However, one thing I have noticed lately is that I seem to feel like I need to help the innocent stranger on their quest of guessing my gender. I left something out in my story, when I was on my way to the fitting rooms, I had no intention of trying on the ladies pants or top. Some small part of me somewhere felt like I had to take them with me to the fitting room to help the staff member decide. I think what compelled me to do this was that I wanted to skip the awkward moment from the staff memeber, the routine confused looks, I just wanted to blend in, not be fussed over, not given extra attention.
I've lost count of how many times I've been mistaken for a boy and not just in shopping situtations, but also bars, restaurants or even public restrooms. Being a girl that looks like a boy has some advantages. For example, I feel a lot safer walking around streets at night by myself or catching late trains home from university because no one bothers me. On the other hand there are disadvantages, like the constant confusing looks you receive from other people, the incorrect use of pronouns, awkward appointments at the hairdresser, or the dreaded confrontation from women in the ladies restroom suspecting you of the wrong gender. It's not a big deal, infact most times you can laugh it off but in reality after awhile, it becomes a hassle. It starts to affect you and you wonder why you can't just fit in the way you are and not be noticed because you are different.
Being 'different' is something all of us androgynous girls can sympathise with and the best we can do is support all of those other 'different' people. We must continue to live our lives being us and nothing but the truest form of us. Whether we wear mens clothes, get mens haircuts or wear mens underwear. Be confident with who you are, with how you dress and how you feel comfortable. Push the boundaries, don't let society constrain you. Be proud and be different.
That's all I have to say on the matter.
Don't forget to be awesome,
Volume One - The Introduction
Volume Two - Gender Confusion
Volume Three - Categories and Neatly Defined Boxes
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